Sader for the non-practicing Catholic

My good friend expanded my knowledge tonight by inviting me to her Seder.

It was a learning experience in more ways than one.

I got to read parts from the story of Passover. And, I gained a whole new appreciation of the religion.

I always had respect for its traditions. But this was the first time I ever sat around with young, interesting peers talking about Judaism in a more intellectual and, at times, humorous way.

I'm not saying I'm going to ask three times. Still, I thought, maybe in gaining a better feeling for one religion I would gain more of an appreciation for all of them. I've never liked religion.

But the night wasn't entirely kosher.

I went off on one twenty-something who does human resources for Deloitte Touche.

Turns out, as a consultant, he sets up plans for "merging" companies.

"So you tell them who to fire," I said.

"Yes," he said. "but I don't feel great about that."

(He really did say it that quickly.)

"So," I said, "You rationalize it by saying somebody else would do it if you didn't."

"Yes," he said.

"That must be hard to live with," I said.

"Yes," he said. "But somebody else gets a job because of it."

"But what about the people who lost their jobs?" I persisted. "What about them and their families?"

There was a very long and pregnant pause. Everyone was uncomfortable. (I also made a comment about how I had heard the "If I didn't do it, somebody else would have" comment before.) I admit, I probably should not have said that.

But my father lost his job after many years because somebody like this young man suggested he should, and we were on our fourth or fifth glass of wine.

Later, we took a cab together, he and I. He was sweet.

"Sorry if I was a bitch to you," I said.

"No, you were fine," he said.

But, to be honest, my apology wasn't entirely heartfelt.

I do think he and everyone like him who's willing to do something just for money is at fault no matter how much he tries to rationalize it. In fact, his rationalization seemed to go against everything I had learned about Passover. What I loved about it was wishing away world poverty, racism, hatred and all other inequality. Yet, in my mind, he seemed to be part of it.

So, again, I had confronted the hypocrisy of religion. This time, it was Judaism rather than Catholicism.

Maybe we all do need to take more responsibility for the things we do, just the way the Seder seemed to suggest. That's the real lesson I learned.
\
Peace.